Maybe I'm Not a Teacher

They say that when you're called to do something, one or mulitple situations happen to try and discourage you from doing it.

Well, my recent internship did just that, and I'm not solid in my passion for teaching anymore as of this moment. There are many other ways that I can impact the lives of students outside of the classroom, with waayy less politics invovled. I took out student loans and scholarships under the impression that I would teach mulitple years after graduation, but the option of just paying those off as student loans looks very enticing. Nothing is worth me feeling out of place in a profession that doesn't make my heart soar and utilize all of my gifts.

But I made a commitment, and integrity means keeping your word. Talking with my mom helped me realize that, even though what she was saying at the moment was not what I wanted to hear. You see, God brings us through certain situations where we are offered choices-He's not a dictator. He also observes our choices to see what is in our heart. And when God looks at my heart and my decisions, I want Him to see someone who has integrity, even when it was really painful. God says in His word that He values His word above His name, and He is always faithful in keeping it. I think He's teaching me to be like Him in this major life choice.

And because of His goodness, I believe that He will give me the grace, favor, energy and creativity to be a teacher that changes lives for the amount of time that I spend in the classroom. I also believe that He will open doors and make unbelievable ways for me to do everything that I'm passionate about. Maybe I'll start an afterschool program where I can really get to invest in students individually(my true passion). He will show me ways to utilize all of my gifts and passions within the context of my classroom and students. He will cause me to bloom where I'm planted.

Maybe He wants to put people in my path that I won't meet otherwise. Maybe He wants to make me such an amazing teacher that I end up with a platform where I can give Him glory. Who knows.

What I do know is that when I get to all the places that I want to go in life and acheive my dreams, I'll be able to look back and know that I didn't take any shortcuts, and that I kept my promises along the way.

Much Love,

Ash :)